71 Reasons to Buy Fabric

I found this over (http://qcn.tripod.com/71reason.htm). You should go check it out for more Quilty Humor.

71 Reasons to Buy Fabric

(Compiled by Frances Tankersley of Jackson, TN from contributions by members of Online Quilters Guild)

1. It insulates the closet where it is kept.

2. It helps keep the economy going. It is our patriotic duty to support cotton farmers, textile mills, and quilt shops.

 

3. It is less expensive and more fun than psychiatric care.

 

4. "Oh, it’s not for me! I’m buying it for a friend!"

 

5. My cat/dog needs a fresh, new pile of fabric to sleep on and roll around on at least once a week.

 

6. Because it’s on sale.

 

7. Okay, it wasn’t on sale, but by the time it was, all the good stuff would be gone.

 

8. A sudden increase in the boll weevil population might wipe out the cotton crop for the next ten years.

 

9. I’m participating in a contest—the one who dies with the most fabric wins.

 

10. It keeps without refrigeration, and you don’t have to cook it to enjoy it. Also, you never have to feed it, change it, wipe its nose, or walk it.

 

11. I need extra weight in the trunk of my car for traction on snowy, icy roads. This is important, even in Florida and Southern California, as you never know when the weather will change.

 

12.   Because I’m worth it.

 

13. It’s non-fattening. Registered dietitians have confirmed that a fat quarter has 100% fewer calories than a hot fudge sundae.

 

14. I am working on building a complete collection.

 

15. Like dust, it’s good for protecting previously empty spaces in the house, like the ironing board, the laundry hamper, the dining room table....

 

16. It’s a medical test to see if your husband is still alive. If he is, a fabric purchase will make him start fussing about more fabric in the house.

 

17. When the Big Earthquake comes, all the quilt shops might be swallowed into the ground and never seen again.

 

18. Because it’s there.

 

19. It’s prettier than salt and peppershakers.

 

20. It won’t break.

 

21. A strong interest in fabric purchases will leave you no time to spend in the pool hall or out stealing hubcaps.

 

22. It’s much cheaper to cover the floor with fabric than new carpeting, and you can change the look more often.

 

23. The devil made me do it.

 

24. Stress from dealing with the Fabric Control Officer (my husband) made me do it.

 

25. It’s the only remotely artistic thing I have ever done.

 

26. If all else fails, you can use it for cleaning rags.

 

27. I’m might set up my own fabric shop and I’ll need a starter inventory.

 

28. To keep the bed from falling down—we all know that most Quilters store part of their fabric under the bed.

 

29. To save a beautiful fabric design for posterity. They might stop making it, and it would be lost to the world forever.

 

30. Neighborhood children might need just the right color for a scavenger hunt.

 

31. I need something new for show and tell party games.

 

32. My friend has more variety than I do, and I have to keep up with her.

 

33. Because I can’t live without it.

 

34. It fights the empty nest syndrome—my youngest child is getting married, so I have another empty room to fill with fabric.

 

35. Because, this fabric just talks to me and calls my name.

 

36. It comes in whatever size or quantity you want.

 

37. It’s important to invest in cotton futures.

 

38. I’m too old to have sex. (This was suggested by a Quilters husband.)

 

39. I have new shelves for fabric storage, and if I don’t fill them up, they won’t look right.

 

40. They get angry when you steal it.

 

41. It will go with some I bought last year.

 

42. It’s so pretty, and I’ll use it some day.

 

43. I want my daughter to have a proper inheritance.

 

44. Well-known medical fact: prevents washing machine withdrawal symptoms on light laundry days.

 

45. Keeps the people who make cardboard inserts in bolts of fabric employed, thus supporting the national economy in yet another way.

 

46. Assists the little birdies with their nests when scraps, threads, and little whispies are allowed to blow in the wind.

 

47. Opens up new opportunities for curators and quilt show judges to ply their skills.

 

48. Ophthalmologists recommend quilting to support the sagging eyeglasses industry.

 

49. Without fabric I would have nothing to do with my rotary cutter and my mat and my sewing machine and my iron and my thread and my needles and my quilting books . . . . (and my time).

 

50. I’m setting a good example for my children.

 

51. There’s just one more piece I need, and I’ll know it when I see it.

 

52. Buy it now, before your husband retires and goes with you on all your shopping expeditions.

 

53. Someone else has cornered the market on hog bellies.

 

54. It does not promote tooth decay.

 

55. Nobody told me not to.

 

56. It’s raining (sleeting, snowing, hailing, thundering, sun’s too hot?).

 

57. It’s not immoral, illegal, or fattening.

 

58. It calms the nerves, gratifies the soul, and makes me feel good.

 

59. Buy it quick, before all the good stuff is gone.

 

60. Surgeon General says: "Ten yards a day keeps the blues away."

 

61. Step 32 of Master Plan to drive husband crazy.

 

62. Everybody else does it.

 

63. "Oh, what a feeling!"

 

64. A yard a day is all the quilt shops of America ask.

 

65. If you don’t buy it now, you may never see it again.

 

66. If I don’t buy it, my husband won’t have anything to complain about.

 

67. It was awful! I was trapped in the quilt shop, and the only way out was to buy my way out!

 

68. Unless my fabric stash is reasonably impressive, people might think my family is destitute, and my children would be embarrassed.

 

69. A large fabric stash is the sign of a creative mind.

 

70. I owe myself a reward for that half-pound I lost last month.

 

71. "Because I don’t have it yet!"